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Thread: A Joke a day..

  1. #1241
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    768

    Default New Product

    I found a brand new product at the grocery the other day, and it made the following claims:

    * Gluten free
    * Zero trans fats
    * No cholesterol
    * No high fructose corn syrup
    * Low sodium

    And most important of all...

    * No quid pro quo!

  2. #1242
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Akron, Ohio USA
    Posts
    2,197

    Default

    Was it a bottle of Russian salad dressing?
    Creator of LaserBoy!
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  3. #1243
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    1,478

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by james View Post
    Was it a bottle of Russian salad dressing?
    ... Vodka?

    Viktor
    Aufruf zum Projekt "Müll-freie Meere" - https://reprap.org/forum/list.php?426
    Call for the project "garbage-free seas" - https://reprap.org/forum/list.php?425

  4. #1244
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    1,478

    Default Trumps wall near completion ...

    Trump's wall almost finished!
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Trumps wall.jpg  

    Aufruf zum Projekt "Müll-freie Meere" - https://reprap.org/forum/list.php?426
    Call for the project "garbage-free seas" - https://reprap.org/forum/list.php?425

  5. #1245
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    196

    Default

    Not sure if I did this one already and I'm typing it out by memory but here goes!

    Two Whales are near the surface of the water floating there very very bored. They see a boat float above them so one says to the other "let's shoot out of our blow holes on one end of the ship and capsize it just for a laugh!"

    They proceed to do so and all hands fall into the water. The two whales submerge while laughing their fins off.

    Then the one whale says again to the other "Hey I got another idea. Let's swim back up and eat some of the fishermen that fell into the water, just for a laugh!?" to which the other replies "Look bro I'm all for the occasional blow job but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

  6. #1246
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Posts
    153

    Default EOD Beat down

    Quote Originally Posted by steve-o View Post
    ..will keep the doctor away..
    (no, not you, lostgyfrell.. can't spellit)
    ..anyway..
    Humor is the best medicine..
    I propose a thread that'll make us laugh on a daily basis to get our days off to a better start..
    Here's my joke
    Joke #1and2and3 for starters: Bombsquad, extremesport and costume.
    written jokes are also fun, I just cant find any at the moment..
    that EOD photo reminds me when i was working on an outside electrical service box, as i was at the moment of touching it with a wiggy (voltage meter) my cell phone vibrated with a call, need less to say wiggy and kline tool went over neighbors fence and i had the shakes for hours after that, co workers rolling on the ground begging to stop laughing!

  7. #1247
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Posts
    153

    Default oysters and perils

    why don't oysters share there perils?
    there shellfish!

    I called my boss this morning and told him i was sick and could not go to work to day! BOSS" whats wrong that you can't come to work to day?"
    I replied "I have anal Glaucoma!"
    Boss "anal Glaucoma ?! what the hell is that?
    I replied
    "I can't see my ass going to work today!"

  8. #1248
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Posts
    153

    Default Book Keeper

    I was a book Keeper for 10 years.
    My local library was not happy about that!

  9. #1249
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Posts
    153

    Default Tree scientists go on vacation

    A Physicist, a Biologist, and a Chemist went to see the ocean for the first time.
    The Physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the wave. He said he wanted to do some research on fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean, Obviously he was drowned and never returned.
    The Biologist said he wanted to do some research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked into the ocean, He too, never returned.
    The Chemist waited for a long time for both of them to return then afterwards wrote his observations.
    " That Physicists and Biologists are soluble in ocean water"

  10. #1250
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Akron, Ohio USA
    Posts
    2,197

    Default

    That's kind-of like the joke about the statistician who looked out of a train window and noted that all of the sheep on this side of the mountain were white on one side. (shortened version).
    Creator of LaserBoy!
    LaserBoy is free and runs in Windows, MacOS and Linux (including Raspberry Pi!).
    Download LaserBoy!
    YouTube Tutorials
    Ask me about my LaserBoy Correction Amp Kit for sale!
    All software has a learning curve usually proportional to its capabilities and unique features. Pointing with a mouse is in no way easier than tapping a key.

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