A Joke a day..

[Mr.Coffee]

A Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."

"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't Fuck her."

[FourDee]

A byte walks into a bar and orders a pint. Bartender asks him "What's wrong?" Byte says "Parity error." Bartender nods and says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."

[Mr.Coffee]

A bear walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll ya have?"

The bear says, "A gin and...."

"...Tonic."

The bartender says, "What's with the big pause?"

The bear holds them up and says, "I dunno, my father had them too."

[DZ]

ah, just when you thought this thread was dead and gone.

[Phredy1]

A bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why
the drunk is screaming.

"What's all the screaming about in there?
You're scaring the customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush,
something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says.


"You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

[DZ]

Who's hungry?

[dnar]

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out "with the girls" a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them".

I always look out for her ride coming home but she always walks from around the corner, I can usually hear a car driving off as she walks towards our house. If it really is a taxi why not just get dropped off in front? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again, and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she was getting out of. It was while I was crouched behind my car that I noticed rust on my exhaust tip.
Should I take it to the dealer for replacement, or should I just take the opportunity to buy the aftermarket 3" I've been looking at. Its a big decision so I thought I would ask for your advice. Maybe I'll just try to buff it out.

Please help me out.

[dnar]

A very topical one considering my condition...

I've got gammon flu. I originally had swine flu but I went to hospital and they cured me

Jem

If you receive emails stating you could catch swine flu from canned ham, just ignore it. It is just SPAM.

[dnar]

I have been chatting with this young girl on the Internet for a few weeks now, she is funny, sexy, flirty and loves to swap nekkid pictures with me. Although she is only 12 years old, she is very mature for her age. We get on really well, chatting and flirting some nights until the early morning.

Yesterday she told me she is a police officer.

How cool is that for her young age!

[Jem]

Found out today why there are many women who like partical physics.

Its so they are never far from an Ion.



I just found some naked photos of Miss Piggy floating in Kermit's pond.

Looks like frog's porn to me.