Q: whats the difference between your wife and the washing machine?
A: You don't have to talk to the washing machine after you dump a load in it
:O
Q: whats the difference between your wife and the washing machine?
A: You don't have to talk to the washing machine after you dump a load in it
:O
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Why do new brides traditionally wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and the fridge...
Adam
Here's one that UK people might get better than most, but every country has a celebrity or TV presenter that it can apply to. It's haunted me for decades, this one:
"Esther Rantzen; hair by Sassoon, teeth by Steinway."
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily
>against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.
>
>"He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,"
>the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at
>once."
>
>"Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily.
>
>"Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall.
>"Look at him. He’s afraid to cough."
Heh! Reminds me of a saying we used to have for our division officer back when I was in the Navy. The guy was pretty fat; the only way he managed to stay in was because he had a huge neck, which would skew the body-fat calculation in your favor.
Anyway, the guy was brilliant - graduated Magna Cum Laude from the Naval Academy... So we used to introduce him as "LT Forrestal; mind by the Academy, mouth by Hoover!" (As in, the vacuum cleaner company!)
Adam
Yep, that's how it's done. It's a good joke form, anyone got any more?
Don't have any more in that vein, but I do have a *very* funny (and very politically incorrect) link that we all enjoyed at SELEM 2007... It's safe for work - just barely. It's a parody of the Delta Airlines ads from the middle 1990's, but edited for the ghetto audience. (Thanks to Hayden for pointing it out - I still laugh when I hear it!)
Adam
PS: Verbose link: http://f0rked.com/flash/v=delta%20ai...s%20commercial
Last edited by buffo; 09-14-2007 at 09:54.
Apple Computers announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants. It is called the iTit and will cost £499 or £599 depending on size. This is considered to be a major
breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them."
Jem
i waz having a fairly bad day, i am now laughing so hard that i'm almost cryin after those last 2..