A Joke a day..

[dnar]

If you don't follow the cricket, this one may go over your head.

[dnar]

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?

A: Drunks don't have to attend those silly meetings.

[Doc]

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?

A: Drunks don't have to attend those silly meetings.

Ha hahaha

[andy_con]

[RGbee]

This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club.
I was confused, I'd never met herbivore.

My missus and I had rampant sex on the sofa earlier and it wasn't until after that I realised I'd left my new Xbox Kinect turned on.
On the plus side I completed the horse-racing game I got with it.

[dnar]

Hot snatch.

[danielbriggs]

This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club.
I was confused, I'd never met herbivore.

That's some funny shit right there...

[Laserchik]

This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club.
I was confused, I'd never met herbivore.

My missus and I had rampant sex on the sofa earlier and it wasn't until after that I realised I'd left my new Xbox Kinect turned on.
On the plus side I completed the horse-racing game I got with it.

VERY funny! Good stuff!!!!

[dnar]

Technical Revolution
After having dug to a depth of 100 metres last year, Scottish scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the
conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more
than 1000 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English
scientist dug to a depth of 200 metres and shortly after headlines in
the UK newspapers read; 'English archaeologists have found traces of
2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors
already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a
thousand years earlier than the Scots'.

One week later, Irish newspapers reported the following: 'After digging
as deep as 500 metres in a County Mayo bog, Irish scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have therefore concluded that 5000 years ago
Ireland's inhabitants were already using wireless technology'.

Young love
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance .. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a Month and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?" Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little darling is adorable.

[Doc]

Prince Charles visits a nursing home. Talking to a 93 year old lady "Have you been bed ridden since you've been here?" he asked. "Yes but I prefer it from behind over the coffee table" she replied.