A Joke a day..

[masterpj]

lol

[dnar]

I met a sexy girl on the Internet a few months ago, she is sexy, funny, smart and very compassionate. Despite being only 16 she is very mature and intelligent for her age.

We recently started sharing sexy photos and stories, she really turns me on and says that I turn here on! I think we might be in love!

Yesterday she told me she is a police officer.

How cool is that for her age?

[masterpj]

I think she wants to "punish" you and have you learn from it

[QUAZAR]

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night.. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad'.

'Rubbish,' replied the young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his cock over his shoulder and then stick it in his ear.

[Robin]

How do you titillate an ocelot?

Oscillate its tit a lot.

[beamann]

The Divorced Barbie Doll
One day a father on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.

[andy_con]

[Insanity]

Mark .

[Doc]

^^^ Hahahaha ^^^

[colouredmirrorball]

Female stereotypes FTW!