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Thread: A Joke a day..

  1. #391
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Cairns, Australia
    Posts
    1,896

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    I laughed hard when I saw this:

    2007 Australian Citizenship test

    1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to
    explain the origin of, the term "died in the ****"?

    2. What is a bloody little beauty??

    3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

    4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last
    Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."

    5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

    6. Complete the following sentences:
    a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
    b) You're going home in the back of a ?
    c) Fair crack of the ?
    d) Fair suck of the ?

    7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss

    8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end
    of a wedgie?

    9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in
    their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and
    does he have a wife called Cheryl?

    10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving
    mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of
    chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

    11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

    12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a TimTam.

    13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30
    cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?

    14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten
    three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?

    15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

    16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the
    letter"b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

    17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?

    18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing"circle
    work"?

    19. Who would you like to crack on to?

    20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

    21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?

    22. What does " sinkin ' **** at a mates joint and
    getten para " mean?

    23. What does Yeah-Nah mean?


  2. #392
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Essex, UK
    Posts
    8,648

    Default

    Eat Sleep Lase Repeat

  3. #393
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    193

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    Quote Originally Posted by andy_con View Post

    Sooner or later the guy with the tape will have to sleep. And then...........

  4. #394
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    231

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    Ok, sorry to be such a "girl" about this...but that kind of creeps me out.....

  5. #395
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Essex, UK
    Posts
    8,648

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    Eat Sleep Lase Repeat

  6. #396
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Under a rock in Cambridge UK
    Posts
    1,353

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    Spent a couple of hours at my wifes grave today......She doesnt know yet....She thinks its gonna be a pond...!!!!!!

  7. #397
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    231

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    LOL....sick......but I like it!!!! LOL

  8. #398
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Phoenix,Az
    Posts
    285

    Default LOL!

    Quote Originally Posted by andy_con View Post
    I bet that hurt like Hell! I wonder if it detachet her retina, traveling 3 or 4 hundred feet per secound it's a wonder she didn't get brain damaged, Oh, I see she all ready suffers that from the first time she did this.
    BEAMANN (GODSLIGHT SHOWS)

  9. #399
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    231

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    I know I shouldn't think this is funny....buuuuuuutt. it is freaking hilarious!!!!

  10. #400
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    4,382

    Default

    ..this joke thread has taken a strange and mysterious turn .. i will return to my lair and be back next year..mwuahahahah..

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