A Joke a day..

[andy_con]

[andy_con]

follow on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pgZ8...layer_embedded

[buffo]

When this clip first hit Reddit, that last bit was the only part I really hated...

"They don't call it the Amazing Race for nothing"

Seriously? The chick just got brained by a 5 lb watermelon and all you can think about is finishing the stupid challenge, for some idiotic race that is part of a lame-ass TV show? They should have sent her to the hospital right then and there. Bastards.

Still, if you only watch the first part, it is damn funny. And I still like the "headshot" voice-over that you can find on some of the shorter clips.

It's only afterwards that you realize how much it had to hurt (watch her neck snap back in the slo-mo), how serious it could have been, and what total dickheads the others were for not taking her to see a doctor immediately.

Adam

[Laserchik]

When I saw the video, all I could think of was BOOYAH!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry-couldn't help it. I saw a video of her afterward, she was ok, but her face hurt. Nothing broken.

[andy_con]

When I saw the video, all I could think of was BOOYAH!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry-couldn't help it. I saw a video of her afterward, she was ok, but her face hurt. Nothing broken.

was it her head or the melon that exploded?!

[buffo]

I have to admit, the first time I watched it I thought she split her face open. The red pulp of the watermelon makes a passable impersonation of an exploding face.

But yeah, just the watermelon burst. Her face was fine, apart from a lot of pain. Still, the mechanism of injury was significant enough that I would have wanted x-rays of my C-spine and my face if it happened to me. I honestly can't believe she didn't at least fracture the orbit around one of her eyes... (She's a tough gal, that's for sure.)

Adam

[Laserchik]

I was sure there was at least a broken nose....but nope. Yep, she is one tough chica.

[steve-o]

yeah, that would have definitely left a scark . .

[Laserchik]

Bottle of Wine

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday
morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but
amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women
drivers.
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow,
just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must
be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the
rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a
sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to
drive.'
The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God
wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. She hands the
bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle
and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the
man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'

[Phredy1]

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore... Better watch what you ask retired people . They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.