Here's another one of my favorites...it's more fun telling them in person and acting some parts out :
A drunk happens to be stumbling along the shoreline when he trips and falls down. From his suddenly still position he spies the object of his trouble, a strangely curved and dirty old bottle sticking part way out of the sand. So the guy crawls closer and works the glass object out for a better look. It's corked up tight but the glass is all scratched and he can't tell what is inside it. It's kind of heavy for it's size but he still can't be sure so he starts working on the top. After several minutes of prying, tugging, and even grabbing with his teeth he finally manages to pop the cork out and to his amazement, sure enough, a proverbial Genie materializes on the sands in front of him.
With his eyes wide (and his mouth too) he stares as the Genie pronounces in a mighty tone, "For freeing me from the prison in which I have spent countless decades I shall grant you three wishes. Following the wishes I shall leave you to enjoy my freedom."
Well the drunk takes a few moments to come to terms with what is happening and thinks that perhaps this is just the result of perhaps a bit of bad something that he drank. Perhaps a bit unbelieving of his own situation he decides to try things out with a bit of a simple task.
"I wish for a never ending bottle of whiskey." says the drunk in a slurred almost questioning voice.
"Done !" replies the Genie.
The drunk starts looking around a can't find anything new. He stumbles to his feet and circles around the Genie checking for the requested item. He continues for a few minutes before realizing that he still has the bottle that held the Genie in his hand. He lifts it to his nose a sniffs what smells like one of the best whiskeys he could ever think of drinking. With a small taste he confirms that it is a solitary fine drink such that he would never experience in his wildest dreams. And to test his request he upends the bottle in his mouth and sucks out every drop in a single pull...gulp,gulp,gulp,gulp,gulp.
He lets the bottle right itself in his hands and wipes his mouth when the bottle grows heavy again filling magically from within.
The drunk sits down in the sand and unbelievably tries it again. Up goes the bottle ,gulp,gulp,gulp,gulp,gulp.Aahhhhhh.
Before he can catch his breath the bottle fills itself again. The drunk sits there mesmerized by the whole thing (and quickly getting hammered too) when the Genie interrupts, "And for your other two wishes..?"
The drunk blurts out, "How about two more of these !"
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Originally Posted by Jem
