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Thread: A Joke a day..

  1. #281
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    From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

    Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Paris , Tennessee . After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

    He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

    The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the
    breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

    Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'

    'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Hillbilly. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'
    "TO DO IS TO BE" - Nietzsche
    "TO BE IS TO DO" - Kant
    "DO BE DO BE DO" - Sinatra

  2. #282
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    ROFL Good One Mr Coffee!!

    Here's 1:
    __________________________________________________ ____

    Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a
    stuffing
    -- imagine that. For people who just are not sure how to tell when
    poultry
    is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.


    BAKED STUFFED TURKEY
    4 - 5 lb. Turkey
    1 cup melted butter
    1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)
    1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)
    Salt/pepper to taste

    Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter
    salt,
    and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan
    with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

    Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven
    door
    open and the turkey flies across the room, it's done.

    And, you thought I couldn't cook . . .

  3. #283
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    this thread is getting so long I cant remember if I posted this one before, but those bong ones reminded me of it.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails tfd-tattoo-patrik.jpg  


  4. #284
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    you guys have probably seen this,but:
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails systsem.jpeg  

    "TO DO IS TO BE" - Nietzsche
    "TO BE IS TO DO" - Kant
    "DO BE DO BE DO" - Sinatra

  5. #285
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    Is that a tattoo pen in the background and you're getting ready for thanksgiving with some wild turkey? -- lol

  6. #286
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    it disappeared? apparently there has been a change in forum rules since i was on last.
    "TO DO IS TO BE" - Nietzsche
    "TO BE IS TO DO" - Kant
    "DO BE DO BE DO" - Sinatra

  7. #287
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    Milwaukee WI
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    what disappeared?
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 109.jpg  

    226.jpg  


  8. #288
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    that one is kinda small.... here is the original site

    http://bestviral.com/image/6a/sick_day_fail

  9. #289
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    you guys might like this:
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails the saga.jpg  

    "TO DO IS TO BE" - Nietzsche
    "TO BE IS TO DO" - Kant
    "DO BE DO BE DO" - Sinatra

  10. #290
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    Jun 2008
    Location
    Austin Texas since 1976
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    At first the mundacity overwhelmed me but after reading a bit Yes it was good for an uncontrollable bout of guttural laughter and I even had to wipe tears from my eyes. Thank You
    clicking on my avatar will show the tricolor photocoagulator resonator cavity from a Lumenis Varia eye surgery medical laser, which i am attempting to refit. It originally was designed to produce 50-1500mw of 532 / 50-600mw of 659nm / 50-600mw of 561nm (Yellow)
    Clicking on my Avatar will show a picture of the inside of this cavity with a 1cm bar diode in the first of 3 OEM postions & KTP holder.
    Caviar Dreams on pennies, well lots of pennies.

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