A Joke a day..

[smokeAndMirrors]

Did you hear the one about the spineless donkey? It had no vertebrae.

(Hee-haw).

[Doc]

Mother and father cooing over their new born son.

Father says "look at the size of his dick, it's huge!"

Mother says "Awww yeah! But at least he's got your eyes"

[QUAZAR]

Dont eat the duck.

[loopee]

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.

[RGbee]

I thought I was going barmy this morning when I opened the fridge and thought I heard the onions singing a Bee Gee's song.

Thankfully it was just the chives talking.

[Laserchik]

What about Ken's kids?

[beamann]

That is funny, thanks for sharing that joke story, I e-maild it to my wife and is now filtering it's way threw all of Arizonas department of economic security, Mostly female employees.

[beamann]

Why Sharks circle you before attacking!

Two great white sharks swimming in the Ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we will swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." and they did. "Well done, son! Now we will swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." and they did. "Now we eat everybody. "and they did. When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

[Insanity]

I was sitting in traffic the other day..... Got ran over....

BBC News Headline: Two pedestrians die in collision.... F*** how fast must they have been walking!!?

Took my Dad for a pint the other day. Sitting opposite was a teenager with green, blue and red hair. After putting up with my Dad staring at him for half an hour, the teenager says, "what's up old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eyelid, my Dad replied, "Shagged a peacock once, just wondering if you were the result?"

Mark

[beamann]

@ insainity
That was F'n funny, dose remind me of a true story that I exsperienced.
I was sitting in a bar and was quite drunk, This was a cowboy bar. Being a biker rather than a cowboy, a guy sat next to me and was giving me the missfit stare, I looked up to say "what the hell is your problem" but in sted I made a complement to his huge 10 gallon black hat. I said to him "I like your hat, whish I had two just like it! He looked at me and replyed "two! why two? I replyed "one too shit in and the other to cover it with" The hole bar fell to the floor Laffing. The cowboy gave me a real dirty look got up gulped his Beer down and left with out incedent, Probbely to get his gun, I am so glad I don't drink any more and I am glad I survived the days I did!