A Joke a day..

[Mr.Coffee]

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a six-foot tall, 175-pound blonde with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No, not if I'm gonna to have to explain it five times."

[buffo]

An atom and an ion are walking down the street. The ion says to the atom, "I've lost one of my electrons!" The atom asks, "Are you sure?" To which the ion replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

A room-temperature super-conductor walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "We don't serve super-conductors here." The room-temperature super-conductor leaves without any resistance.

A neutrino enters a bar. The Bartender says "We don't serve neutrinos here." The neutrino answers, "That's OK, I'm just passing through!"

And finally:

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar... And doesn't.

Have a good week!

Adam

[Mr.Coffee]

Why did the government stop building the SSC in texas?

They realized even if they thought they'd found the Higgs Boson, that they could never be cerntain.

[Doc]

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bar tenders says "sorry, we don't serve food"

[Xytrell]

[buffo]

Why did the government stop building the SSC in texas?
They realized even if they thought they'd found the Higgs Boson, that they could never be cerntain.

In the spirit of your joke, here's another one for the physics buffs:

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says, "Sorry, but we don't allow Higgs Boson's inside the church." To which the Higgs Boson replies, "Then how do you have mass?"

Adam

[Jem]

A very topical one considering my condition...

I've got gammon flu. I originally had swine flu but I went to hospital and they cured me

Jem

[mixedgas]

Teacher Jokes:


So this sophomore picks up his date and takes her to the Amusment park
He asks her what she wants to do, She says "I want to get weighed".
So he takes her to the guess your weight booth and wins her a teddy bear.
They go and ride a coaster or two and once again, he asks her what she wants to do..

She again says, " I want to get weighed." So once again he takes her to the guess your weight booth, they win another stuffed animal and he wonders why she looks so dejected...

So they ride another roller coaster and he takes her home.

She gets home and her mom, noticing she's sad, asks, "How was your date dear? "

"Wousy."

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for those of you who have a chapter of MADD in town...

One Mom to Another, I just joined DAM,
Second mom, whats DAM?
First Mom. Mothers against Dyslexia...


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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made lov to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"
She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
"No, I'm your Kids teacher."


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A mom and
were worried about their son not wanting to learn at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school.
. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his Homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?"
The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the room, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."




Steve

[Phredy1]

Once again, I was disqualified from my neighborhoods"Best Decorated House" contest due to my bad attitude!

[Xytrell]

HA! I might have to take that idea.