A Joke a day..

[Laserchik]

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.


'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.''I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that crap.

[Doc]

[megaton]

That was not good IT WAS EXCELLENT
Sorry Doc for the quote that also is funny.

[dnar]

Too funny! Reminded me off this one.

While out walking one day, a young boy met a redneck riding along with a dog and sheep and began a conversation.
"Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?" asked the boy.
"Stupid kid," said the redneck. "Dogs don’t talk."
The little boy ignored the redneck and talked to the dog anyway. "Hey dog, how’s it going?"
"Doin’ all right," replied the dog to the redneck’s amazement.
"Is this guy your owner?" asked the boy.
"Yep," replied the dog.
"How does he treat you?" asked the boy.
"Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
With that, the boy asked if he could talk to the redneck’s horse.
"Stupid kid, horses don’t talk," replied the redneck.
The little boy ignored the redneck and talked to the horse, anyway. "Hey horse, how’s it going?"
"Cool," replied the horse.
"Is this your owner?" asked the boy pointing to the redneck.
"Yep."
"How’s he treat you?" asked the boy.
"Pretty good, thanks for asking," replied the horse. "He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."
The redneck was totally amazed at his talking horse.
"Mind if I talk to your sheep?" asked the boy.
"The sheep’s a liar," answered the redneck.

[Xytrell]

Dr. Seuss would be proud.

[dnar]

Would you like to buy a vowel?

[goninanbl00d]

Not really a joke, but nonetheless, something can be learnt from it.

[Doc]

Similarity between a 9v battery and a woman's a-hole:

You know its wrong, but sooner or later you're gonna stick your tongue on it.

[Phredy1]

Different kinds of labs

[dnar]

Men are so easy to turn on in comparison...