A Joke a day..

[Laserchik]

@Doc - ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dnar]

He has a PhD in kicking your ass!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO0kRE5OTZI

[Stuka]

He has a PhD in kicking your ass!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO0kRE5OTZI

WTF!!!
TOO funny!!

Glad I wasn't drinking a beer when I started watching that -
it would have been a nasal backwash moment for sure.....

[dnar]

WTF!!!
TOO funny!!

Glad I wasn't drinking a beer when I started watching that -
it would have been a nasal backwash moment for sure.....

When I first watched it, my breakfast cereal ended up all over the monitor!

Oooooooh, you say a bad werd....

[andy_con]

[andy_con]

[dnar]

Anyone have any monitor wipes?

[Laserchik]

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

[Mr.Coffee]

A homeless wino went into the doctors office for an infected foot.

The doctor treated the injury, but before letting him go, he asked his patient to stay for a small demonstration.

The doctor brought out a tray, which held a bowl of worms, and two glasses - one full of milk, the other of whiskey.

The doctor set the glasses on the table and told the wino "now, watch what happens when I put a worm in each of the glasses".

He dropped a worm into the glass of milk - It swam around

He then dropped a worm into the glass of scotch - It died.

The doctor then looked at the wino and asked "Does this signify anything to you?"

The bum blinked and answered: "Yup, you can't get worms from drinkin' scotch!"

[ckilgore1]

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

One of the funniest jokes I've heard in a while. Cruelly hilarious.

Chuck